Loving Lucas and Living With Autism

My nephew, Lucas, has severe autism. He turned 12 this past December, and is still not talking. He can say a few things but cannot carry on a conversation. He was seven or eight before he was patty trained. He still doesn't keep his clothes on when he's at home. Before Lucas came along, I did not have a very clear picture as to what autism is. I thought it made kids sit and stare into space while rocking back and forth all day. Boy! was I wrong. 

Lucas was a very handsome little red headed baby when he was born, he's my sister's youngest out of three, all boys. Lucas was developing normally up until he was 18 months old. That seems to be the 'magic' number for autistic children. That is when the signs start showing up. He was talking and counting and just being a normal little 1 1/2 year old little boy. It seems he started going backwards at that point. He stopped talking and he wouldn't respond to you like he did before. He started to develop a far off stare and would no longer make eye contact with anyone. My sister didn't notice it like the rest of the family did, we had a feeling something was wrong, but my sister wouldn't listen. She finally noticed it and took him to be tested, the results came back as autism. Our lives took a whole different direction after that. Her husband left her and filed for divorce, we found out this is common with families of special need children. 

She was left to raise three boys by herself. Their dad still came around, but not like he should. He didn't pick the boys up a lot of the time he was supposed to. he caused a lot of stress for my sister as well. This really isn't about him though, so, back to Lucas. Lucas has taught me a lot in the 12 years he's been in my life. He's taught me patients, understanding and above all, extra special love for special needs children. Used to be, when I saw a kid throwing a temper tantrum in the store or other public place, my first thought was that brat need his butt spanked. Now I automatically think, that poor mom, she's going through a lot. See, autistic children can't let you know what's wrong with them, they can't let you know when they want or need something. They can get overloaded and have a meltdown, and nothing can stop it once it starts. 

They get very frustrated and let you know by the only means they have, a meltdown. Once we were in the store and Lucas started having a meltdown, an old man walked by us and I heard him mumble 'Brat' under his breath. I forgot all my manners and lit into that old man. I told him my nephew was not a brat, he's autistic and to get his facts straight before he judges someone. he turned red and and walked off. My sister didn't hear him, but she sure looked up when I started yelling. I will defend that boy with my last breath! As I would with any other special needs child! 

Lucas like to line things up and look at them. I like to aggravate him sometimes, and knock them over. He will blow breath out and say "Oh MAN!" and line them up again exactly the way he had them the first time. I'll only do it to him once, sometimes he will give me a little grin when I do it. He knows I'm not being mean, I'm just playing. He can take a joke.

There are some placed we can't take him to eat, if the background noise bothers him, he gets nervous and starts to have a meltdown. We have had to leave a few places before we even ordered our food. he has gotten a little better since he's a little older now. He can accept some situations better than he could a few years ago. For those of you who are friends with me on FB, this is why I post a lot about autism. I have spent a lot of time at my sisters and have been around Lucas more than I have my other nieces and nephews. He has a very safe and secure place in the center of my heart. He is Autistic, he is Lucas, he is Awesome!!!

I love you Lucas!!!

This is going to be more about my Grandpa than my Grandma, they divorced when I was little so my stories about them will be separate

My Grandpa was, in my opinion, a fantastic grandparent. He lived on a farm and boarded horses for different people. He lived there with his second wife, and I thought she was great as well. She taught me how to play Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater on the piano that she had. I would spend time with them during the summers and sometimes on the weekends. I always had fun when I was with them. They had a pretty big place to run around on. She had a grandson who lived up the road, and he was about my age. We used to put a bridal on the horses and go riding sometimes. 

Now, on to Grandpa's story:

Grandma and Grandpa got married kinda late in life, at least for back then anyway. They met when they were teenagers and didn't get married till Grandma was 28. We never understood that until just recently. It seems that Grandpa had always wanted to go and work in Denver. When he was a young fella, he took off and moved there. He found a job and was living his dream. One day he was hitch-hiking either to or from work, don't remember which it was, and two guys picked him up and gave him a ride. 

Supposedly, Grandpa fell asleep in the back seat. While he was 'asleep', the guys who gave him a ride, stopped and robbed a bank. Well, they all got caught and the two guys said Grandpa was the mastermind of the whole thing. Grandpa ended up being a guest at the Colorado State Prison for a while. Actually for most of the late 20's through the early 30's. He found out there was going to be a riot and a breakout and he went and told the Warden about it. he was released early for his own protection. 

Not only was my Grandpa a bank robber, he was a snitch......WOW! They managed to keep this from their kids and grand-kids for decades. None of us knew anything about this until about 20 years ago. My aunt did some research on it and found his mugshot. grandpa died in the 70's so he never knew we found out, neither did grandma, she died in 1991. I miss them both and think about them all the time. I have posted a pic of them before they got divorced, I believe this was in either the 40's or 50.

I have so many stories about my family that I could talk forever about them. Maybe next time I'll introduce you to my Uncle Vernon, grandpa's brother. he was schizophrenic, and thought the CIA, FBI, and the KGB were after him. His story is very interesting as well.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.